Unfortunate Erection
by silverbutterfly13
Summary: L wakes up with a little "problem", and needs the help of Light to fix it. Rated T to be safe for mild suggestive themes. LxLight.
1. Chapter 1

A.N/ I do not own Death Note, nor do I own any part of ___The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee_. This is purely for the entertainment of those who love Death Note.

* * *

"...What are you doing Kira-sama?" L asked quietly, peering at Light through the fringe of his dark bangs. Light's eyes opened, and he swiveled to look at L, his eye twitching slightly and his mouth forming a thin line.

"Would you please not call me that Ryuzaki?" he asked through gritted teeth. This was a usual piece of dialogue between the two men. L adamantly refused to give up suspicion that Light was Kira, and Light could do nothing to sway his belief on the matter. "I'm taking a break. Is that wrong?" he asked.

"I suppose not," L replied in his monotone voice, "most people do require short breaks while working to maintain optimal work quality."

Light sighed. Why did L have to question everything he did? He rose from his chair, needing to stretch. He was tense from sitting hunched over a keyboard for too long. He arched his back and rolled his shoulders, then bent down to touch his toes. L observed him with analyzing eyes, appraising Light's figure. Light-kun was what the better part of society would call handsome. He had a lean build, with narrow hips and long legs. Along with those amber eyes and golden brown tresses, he was quite striking. L gave his head a small shake, breaking out of his analysis. What had brought on those thoughts? He had never thought about Light that way before. It wasn't proper. But still... He couldn't get the thought out of his mind.

"L?" a voice broke through his thoughts. He looked up at Light, who had a curious expression on his face. L lowered his hand from his mouth, unaware that he had been gnawing on the pad of his thumb.

"Yes?" he replied.

Light gave a small tug on the chain, "I need to go."

"Go where?" L asked.

Light rolled his eyes. "Where do you think wise-guy? The bathroom."

L's eyebrows scrunched together slightly. "Oh," he muttered. Standing from his chair, he allowed Light to lead him to the bathroom. When they reached the door, Light sighed.

"Do you really have to come in and watch me while I go to the bathroom, L?" Light complained, putting his hand on the door as if to close it. L stepped inside with him.

"Yes, Light, I do. You know the rules, you aren't allowed out of my sight," L stared at Light, daring him to argue. Light just gave another sigh.

"Fine. But at least turn around," he retorted.

"But what if Light-kun uses that time when I am not looking to write a name?" L shot back, trying to get under Light's skin and make him say something that would give him away. Light scowled, but protested no more. He turned to the toilet, ending the conversation before he said something stupid that would give L more fire against him. L smiled slightly. At least Light was intelligent enough not to give himself away so easily. L liked a challenge. His smile turned mischievous.

"So Light-kun, what is your opinion on the matter of cats vs. dogs?" Light gave him a 'wtf' look. L's smile only widened.

"Uhh... I guess I have to go with cats...? I never really thought about it before..." he replied. L nodded as if in deep contemplation of Light's answer.

"I see. Your percentage of being Kira has risen to 12%," L stated. Light whipped his head around to look at L. What was his problem?! How could L turn his preference of cats over dogs into anything related to Kira? Now L was just yanking his chain, metaphorically speaking. He shook his head at the insane detective, who tilted his head like a dog might. Huh. Interesting coincidental connection. Light returned his focus to his current business, realizing that he had just been standing in front of the toilet. He fumbled with his zipper, and was frustrated to find that it would not zip. L stared at him, eyebrow quirked in amusement. Light flushed, and a thought of how good he looked with pink cheeks flashed across L's mind. L's eyes widened imperceptibly. Again?! What was the reason for these... rather enticing thoughts of Light? L shook off the thought.

"Do you require help Light-kun?" L asked slyly, keeping his obsidian eyes on Light's amber ones. Light flushed even darker, and yanked the zipper again, this time successfully pulling it up.

"No, thank you, Ryuzaki. I seem to have managed just fine on my own," Light ground out through gritted teeth. L smirked.

"Wash up, and then I request that we get back to work. I don't want to waste valuable time on trivial things when we could be catching Kira," he replied. Light rolled his eyes at him, but turned to the sink. As Light washed his hands, L studied the meticulousness of his actions. He was extremely thorough, cleaning each finger individually. It was rather entrancing, L thought. As soon as the thought entered his mind, he wanted to slap himself. He had to get a control on his thoughts! How was watching Light-kun wash his hands entrancing?! Or rather, _why _was it so entrancing..? Could he have some sort of attraction to Light? No, that was impossible. Or at the very least, extremely unprofessional. Light broke him out of his thoughts by announcing, "Done." L gave him a brief nod and turned to exit the bathroom. They returned to their computers and continued working. After about a half-hour, Light gave a small sigh. L kept his eyes glued to the computer, but mumbled, "What is it Light-kun?"

Light started slightly. "Huh? Oh.. Nothing. It's not important." he replied. L turned his chair to look at Light, and Light realized how much like an owl L looked, sitting perched on his chair with his huge black eyes staring at him. Light rolled his eyes internally. What was with these animal references? Was it some sort of subliminal need to revert back to animalistic ways? Or was he just going nuts...? He decided to go with the first option. L gave him a look that said, 'I don't believe you. Tell me now because I will not be able to concentrate until I know the reason behind that sigh'. ...Okay, maybe that was stretching it a little, but that was basically what the look had said. Light shifted uncomfortably. "It's just... I have this odd feeling, but I can't place it. I don't know what is causing it, so I don't know how to make it go away. I guess I'm just feeling tired." he spoke, staring at his hands. He glanced up at L, who was regarding him with a curious look.

"Let's go," L said abruptly.

"Wha..?" Light responded, confused at the blunt statement.

"I said, let's go. You are in no shape to continue working, and I should have realized that when I found you taking a 'break'. So I'm calling it quits for tonight. We will continue work in the morning along with the rest of the team." L replied, tugging Light to his feet and dragging him down the hall. When they reached the room, they changed into sleeping clothes, which for Light was a pair of boxers and an old t-shirt. L opted to keep on his shirt, but did change into a loose pair of sweatpants. He grabbed a laptop so that he could do some more work while Light slept, and hoped that he too might be able to get a few hours of sleep. It didn't take long for Light to fall asleep, and surprisingly soon after, L found that his own eyelids were drifting closed. He shut off his laptop and put it on the ground, moments before he too, fell asleep.

* * *

Several hours into the night, L awoke with a start. He felt groggy and disoriented, and something felt... off. More specifically, something felt uncomfortable. He lifted his head from the pillow to find a large.. bulge.. under the sheets. His first thought was that some sort of animal had crawled under the sheets, but he soon realized how unlikely that scenario was. After a few more seconds of confusion, it dawned on him what the bulge was. For some reason, his sleep-ridden brain thought of a bizarre American musical, _The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee_, in which one song was titled, "My Unfortunate Erection", and the song started running through his head. He groaned and let his head fall back onto the pillow. Why did human hormones have to work on _him_? His annoyance quickly turned to contemplation, and then mild panic. What was he supposed to _do_? He had no experience with such incidences before, even as a teen. He had figured that his body wasn't _able_ to conform to such primitive instincts, but now he knew that was not true. He understood what he was supposed to do in these circumstances, but he knew he would feel extremely awkward performing such acts while he was in bed next to Light. He felt it would also be a very degrading and vulgar, so that idea was quickly crossed off the list. He waited a few minutes, hoping it might go away on its own, but it only became more uncomfortable, verging on painful. He shifted carefully, not wanting to wake up Light, but unfortunately for him, Light was not a deep-sleeper, and he stirred st the small movement. L tried not to move any more, but the damage was done.

"L...?" came a groggy voice, "What's going on? Why're you awake?" asked a confused Light, who struggling to raise himself into a sitting position.

"It's nothing Light-kun, go back to sleep," L forced out his words in a rush. Light ignored him and continued to wake, turning on his bedside lamp. Both of the men blinked as their eyes adjusted to the sudden light, and as Light's vision focused, he noticed something very awkward.

"Uhh... Ryuzaki? ...I think you have a little problem," Light trailed off, forcing himself to look away from the very obvious erection L possessed. L blushed a bright red, which was the most color Light had ever seen on him before.

"Yes, I realize that Light," L replied tersely, "It's a bit hard not to." he finished.

"Umm, are you going to do something about it?" Light asked hesitantly. L sighed.

"I was hoping it would... go away on its own... but that does not seem to be working," he answered. Light's mouth tightened, trying to contain a grin. Even though this was awkward for him, he couldn't imagine how L was feeling. He tossed the blankets off his legs and stood up.

"Why don't we take this to the bathroom," he said mildly. L stood up carefully and followed him. When they were both in the bathroom, Light turned to L. "Since it's pretty obvious you have no clue what you're supposed to do, I guess I should help you. Clothes off." he told L, who stared at him with a blank face, eyes wide and uncomprehending.

"Um.. what?" he asked finally. Light rolled his eyes.

"Clothes off. You're going to take a cold shower. Trust me, afterwards, you'll be back to normal." he told L, who looked very hesitant, but complied, unlocking the cuffs and attaching his end to the towel rack, then peeled off his shirt. "No funny business." he told Light seriously. Light nodded, and turned to give L some privacy. He heard the sound of the shower being turned on soon after.

"Are you sure about this Light-kun?" he heard L ask over the sound of the running water.

"Yes, I'm sure L. Just do it." he called back. He heard a low, incomprehensible grumble, and then the sound of a glass door being closed. After a second, he heard a small yelp, followed by 'god damn this is cold!'. He smiled, amused, even though he knew he really shouldn't be. At that point felt it was okay to turn around, and so he did. After another minute, the water shut off, and the glass door slid open partly, revealing the face of a grumpy looking L, wet strands of hair plastered to his face.

"Hand me a towel please, Light-kun, before I catch hypothermia." he asked quietly. Light complied, and L grabbed it and wrapped it around his waist. "... Thank you for the help, Light-kun," said L, true appreciation clear on his face. Light nodded and gave him a small smile. L changed quickly, and they returned to bed to get a few more hours sleep before the next day truly began. Light once again fell back to sleep quickly, and although L was hesitant to go back to sleep, should the events of the night occur again, he too found himself drained and tired. Before he fell asleep though, he thought about what had caused the "unfortunate erection". Images flooded his mind of the dream he had had, and he was grateful that Light was asleep and the light off, for his face grew very warm and was probably the color of a cherry. He promised to himself that what had happened in the dream was something that would remain a secret till the day he died.

* * *

I have wanted to finish this story for a _long_ time, but I could not for the life of me figure out what I wanted to have happen. Luckily, I was able to write this, which I feel is fairly satisfactory. For those who have not seen _The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee_, or even heard of it, I highly recommend you watch it somewhere or at least listen to the songs. It's hilarious. :) I'm pretty sure I want to leave this as a one-shot, but if I am asked otherwise, then I have some ideas for what the next chapter would be about. Thanks for reading, and please review if you enjoyed. :)


	2. Chapter 2

Light pulled in a breath before swiveling in his chair to face L, who was sitting in his hunched position staring at his computer. It had been a week since the night that L had his 'problem', and since then, things had been a bit, well, awkward between them. He had finally decided that he just needed to confront L on the matter or he would be driven mad. He stared at L and waited for him to take notice. After a minute passed, L turned to look at him, a blank expression on his face. "Can I help you, Light-kun?" he asked. Light shifted uncomfortably.

"We need to talk, L," he said after a moment's hesitation. L blinked, his owlish eyes not portraying any reaction to Light's statement.

"What about...?" he spoke slowly, unsure of what Light was talking about.

"About... you know... what happened last Friday night," Light replied. L frowned slightly.

"I thought we agreed to not speak of the events of that night ever again," he said tightly.

"I know, but it's been bugging me since it happened, and if I don't talk to you about it, I can't concentrate on the case," he paused, "Please, L." he added softly. L frowned, but gave a small nod.

"Very well. I ask that you please wait until later tonight though. I would like to finish today's work," he stiffly relented. Light felt the tension in his shoulders evaporate, and he nodded at L.

"Thank you, Ryuzaki," he replied. He turned back to his desk and continued his work, the knowledge that he would finally be able to talk about the night secure in his mind, allowing him to work without cause for distraction.

OoOoOoOoO

As the day drew to a close, all Light could think about was the upcoming conversation with L. He had been restless all day, edgy with the need to force the issue out into the open and learn... well, why? For one, why was L so unwilling to talk about the night? It was normal to have a wet dream, wasn't it? It seemed like L was hiding something from him, and that alone was trying him insane. He _hated_ secrets, especially when they were being kept from him. There was something about what happened that night that L refused to say out loud, but Light knew he'd get him to spit it out, one way or another. At that he grinned to himself, albeit a bit evilly. He would get L to talk. Because Light Yagami _always_ got his way.

OoOoOoOoO

L sighed. He had dreaded this upcoming hour since Light had confronted him about the events of that fateful night one week ago. He had hoped that Light would simply forget and move on, but _noo_, he had to bring it up put L on the spot. He wasn't sure what he was going to say, but he figured if he just gave a vague answer that Light would be satisfied, even though he knew this was unlikely. But if Light found out the reason for his... _problem_... he would never let L rest again. It would be extremely dangerous for Light to wield that kind of information over L's head. It would give him the ultimate upper hand, and that could not happen. He thought about all this as he and Light dressed for bed, and Light's gentle tug on the chain jerked him out of his contemplation. He looked up at Light, who was staring down at him with a curious expression.

"You okay?" he asked quietly. L nodded.

"I assume you still want to talk about the events of last Friday?" he spoke, eyes staring hard into Light's. He looked expressionless, like a statue, but Light could see something in his eyes, something that he had never seen before in L. Fear. L was scared, and Light knew that he was the cause of it. He cringed slightly, and L looked down, fiddling with the chain.

"You know... Ryuzaki, if this topic is too hard for you to talk about, we don't have to," a sharp "No" from L cut him off. L stood up and looked Light straight in the eye. In a split second, he decided to do something insanely irrational, and with indefinable outcome. If he couldn't _talk_ about what had happened, why not _show_ Light the reason? He lifted his arms and leaned forward, cupping Light's face in his hands and kissing him straight on the mouth. Light froze, unsure what he should do. After a few seconds, he wrapped his arms around L's waist and deepened the kiss, letting his instincts take over. Contrary to popular belief, he did not have much experience in romance. Most people he met held no physical, emotional, or mental attraction to him. But with L...? It seemed that fate had intended them for each other. After a few minutes, they broke apart, both gasping for air.

"Oh L..." Light whispered, staring at L, who was looking down at the ground. He felt like a complete idiot now, kissing Light like that so spontaneously. He found his chin being lifted up, and he looked at Light, whose expression was gentle. "I feel the same." he said simply, tugging L closer in an embrace. L felt a rush of relief, and.. _happiness_? Could he even _feel_ joy..? Yes. He could. And L was definitely happy.


	3. Chapter 3

L lay in bed, replaying the events of a few hours ago in his mind. Light was curled up next to his side, and L smiled at the soft snoring sound he made. He was extremely relieved that Light hadn't reacted badly to the kiss. They had decided simultaneously to sleep on the events of the night and discuss it in the morning, which was good for L because he felt that his brain was currently mush. He couldn't gather his wits long enough to have a single coherent thought without his mind drifting to Light.

It was rather embarrassing, really, how being in love could make a person so.. _idiotic_. His thinking hadn't been this slow since he'd been drugged to have his wisdom teeth removed. He supposed it was alright though. In fact, it was rather pleasant. He couldn't remember why he hadn't been in love before. As he listened to Light's steady breathing, he found himself being lulled to sleep. He let his body relax, and sleep pulled him under.

~oOoOo~

The following morning, L awoke to the sound of alarms. He had been having a rather nice dream, and he was jerked out of it by some blasted ringing sounds. He stumbled out of the bed, almost landing on his face in his blind confusion. As his brain started turning on, he realized that the sound was coming from on of the fire detectors. He started down the hall to where the noise was loudest; the kitchen.

When he got to the doorway, he both smelled and saw the smoke spewing out of the toaster. He rushed forward, grabbing the fire extinguisher from under the sink and aiming it at the toaster, spraying it until all signs of the fire where gone. He stumbled back, letting the fire extinguisher drop to the floor. The alarms turned off and he sagged against the counter. As he caught his breath, he heard something. It sounded like.. muffled crying. Walking into the adjoining living room, he froze at the sight of Light, curled up in the fetal position with his back against the couch, sobbing. He crept forward, not wanting to startle Light.

"Light-kun?" he called softly. Light gave no kind of response that he had heard L.

"Raito, what's wrong?" L called again, walking towards Light. This time, Light shook his head slightly. L closed the space between them, crouching down next to Light, who leaned into him. L sank to the floor, wrapping his arms around Light. They held each other until Light's crying subsided enough for him to speak properly.

"M-my mom and Sayu. Th-they got in a car accident this morning. Sayu is stable, but my mom is in-" he started crying again. After a moment, he pulled in a shaky breath and continued. "She's in critical condition. My father says there's major hemorrhaging in her brain, and they're inducing a coma. She- she might not make it."

L was struck by this news. he didn't know Sachiko Yagami and Sayu well, but he was shocked that something this horrible had happened to them. He pulled Light to his feet and grabbed a tissue from one of the boxes laying on the table.

"I'm so sorry Light. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. Why don't you get cleaned up and I'll have the car be readied." he said softly. Light nodded, and L turned to go.

"L?" a voice called from behind him. He turned, and was rewarded by arms wrapping around his waist.

"Thank you, L." was all Light said.

"You're welcome, Light." was all L replied.

* * *

I'll be honest here, I wrote most of this thing on the spot with no clue where I was planning on going, so I hope you guys enjoyed. Please leave a review, they're what keep me sustained ^.^ Thank you for reading!


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